When I reach the countryside I'll burn my cash and spend my life On rubber bullets, blunted knives Don't pay any mind When I reach the wilderness If any of it still exists In a sea of sprawling pavement Our island idly drifts But it won't last I can't sleep while you're tossing, turning, burning Drown in all your misery the next morning When I reach the holiday Though you may grieve, I'll celebrate But that's something I'd never say To your sunken face When I reach the bathroom door If I can get up off the floor I'll steal your keys and head up north I've done it all before And I'll do it again Take the time to mourn your mind marred by displacement Recite the line and shut your eyes until you awaken You think that you have come so far But you're frailer than ever before You're a picture perfect disappointment

You hung your head in shame I hanged my head in praise I was so tired of being a liar All my joy was false All my spoils lost In a fire, the flames made a choir And that's when G_d said to me "You better get on your knees" And as you sang your hymn I let the devil in She said, "you'll never know Why I love you so" And that's when G_d said to me "Fuck you for eternity Because I don't need you now And I am sure that somehow Thru all the pain and the ache I'll spit you from my Mouth" You hung your head in praise I'll hang myself today I'm just so tired of being a liar

Rest in peace my infant wing Oh how you'll fly High above the canopy Where clouds gather to cry But on the day they laid you down In a hole beneath the ground The white bedsheet was gone Like the sun was taunting us Rest assured my perished bird We'll pay visit all the time And on the stone we'll drape the flowers That you always liked But when the sky has fallen down I'll be there in my sleeping gown With arms around the stone Just to feel a little less alone When I try to fall asleep Your empty stare will follow me Your broken wings, your mangled mind Your open wounds, your twisted spine It's like candy for the devil's eyes Rest in peace my infant wing Oh how you'd fly Cross the clouds and split the trees Right into the hunter's sights He loads the rifle, holds his breath And a bullet burrows in your neck You fall in slow motion And the cycle never ends

It should be easy but I guess I'm no good at this Pushing against the wall until I shatter my wrists Million dollar necklace dangling in the wind I was too gentle when I let you me in This sick quiet room A breakdown is coming soon I though time was on your side Now I can't believe my fucking eyes So don't you grin and sing your hymn (You look just like an angel who's choking on her tongue) As you plunge a knife into my backside (And I shouldn't be able cause I'm never enough) And don't you laugh on the devil's behalf (You look just like a martyr but only in your head) And then wonder why G_d sent hellfire (If you want to suffer any longer than your better off dead) A pleasure synthetic and saccharine sweet It buried you deep in a casket discreet A pleasure that sparkled, aroused and then purged But it couldn't save you from the urn It burned all your senses to a million crisps And winter stole them with a violent wind I try my best yet the currents don't stop I crumble beneath them like rocks And the thunder claps, the shushes dispatch And my body's abandonment and lesser than the trash So pack your belongings and bury your treasures Or else you'll be buried by synthetic pleasures

BASED ON A TRUE STORY Oh darling you're starving, your ribs swallow you whole Your poor lover you don't love her, not anymore Your hair's matted your dress tattered, your teeth are rotting gold Your poor mother the dirt smothers, and swallows her whole She's all you need Oh ---- don't start some useless breadcrumb trail I won't follow your hollow words beyond the pale Don't write me I won't answer, you shattered both my wrists So I walk around with casts abound and tightly clenched fists You're all I need Your head is hanging Your feet are dangling The chimes are clanging There's no cloud in heaven for you Oh starling you're just starting, the world is scary and new Just don't drown and never frown when the fuckers reach for you You're all I need Your head is hanging Your hands are strangling Your life is wasted There's no stars in heaven for you There's no stars left for you

I dug a hole in your ancient skull Enjoying the million dollar view The birds sang an old soul song Till a hunter came along And shot them down and out of view So long my distant friend I'll miss your feathered hands Holding me when I'm alone I found your remains and ran so far away Out to the place where we'd grow old Sweet dreams in the soil, fly above the mortal coil And gaze upon the valley below Where the water carves Faces in the cliffs of mud Breaking them down to frowns of mold And so long my broken wings I'll miss the sweet evenings Where your song would send me home

The moon explodes, a white halo Shrapnel melts the houses below And in the streets panicking People run ablaze and obscene The sun wakes up, says she’s had enough And walks away somewhere else in space And so you freeze instantly If only you’d been listening It’s the end of the world I’ve been telling you for years But you’d laugh and point a finger And say delusion drove me tears What a shame You can’t outrun your pride And you can’t laugh loud as you cry Does the future feel nice? We don’t exist anymore Frank made me do it And I got bored The life that you live is always coming out amiss We both know it The world that you love would unravel with a tug We both know it In a little while I’ll be in heaven with a smile Stretching from ear to ear A wretched life To live in fear They know everything about you. They know your name—first, middle, and last. They know your ethnic origins, your family history, the maiden names of every woman who married into the family. They know how Mom and your father met, and how your grandmothers and grandfathers met. They know that your parents fucked at a house party and that you were born out of wedlock and your father was terrified of his newfound parenthood, so he vanished forever. They know that you still hold on to the smallest, naive hope that he may return. They also know that he never will, and it drives you mad. They know the model of the bathtub you were born in, how Mom couldn’t afford a crib so you slept in her old shoebox, and then graduated to the sock drawer on your first birthday. They know the addresses of every apartment that you and Mom ever lived in, and how you have an intense longing to visit the first one—that special, ugly place you still call home. They know that it's not nearly as big as you remember, and that someday when you return to the apartment and walk through the door, your childhood will be mangled upon realizing that the magic of nostalgia is dead. They know where you went to school—how your favorite subjects were “lunch and recess” and how you’d feel inadequate when none of your classmates laughed at the joke. They know where you had your first kiss; they could probably recall the memory more clearly than you. Isn’t that heartbreaking? They could recall all of your memories more clearly than you—the short-term ones, the long-term ones, the happy ones, the sad ones, the traumatic ones that you haven’t rediscovered yet.

There was once a time Where lightning stood still Veiled by a landlocked sky Suffocating the hills I was unaware of all the smog within my lungs My breaths grew short and finally stopped Now what have I become? Sometime in a former life I loved the steel drum storm And in the night, mouth open wide I'd pray for rain adorned I was unaware of all the blood soon to come down And that's just when my clothes turned red And I suddenly drowned oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo All I know of this false hope Is it's all I possess Brothers buried and sisters croaked And you're all I have left Maybe there will be a time Where the clouds finally break And in between the cracks and seams The sun will smile on my face

Oh broken bird don't be shy Come down from the branches And fly back to the sky Oh careless curse don't stay quiet Leave my silver tongue I need you in my life I build my courage high And it topples in half the time And I'll never know why But I'm too tired to try It's so sweet it burns, it'll kill you every time Your flesh is charred and broiled In the soil you will lie And oh flightless bird don't make me cry You act just like the others You're drowning in the wine When you wake up I'll be dead Far away from this maudlin mess And you'll feel some meek regret And then roll right into bed